Almost week three with Jasper Lily

How is it possible that we are at week number three with Jasper Lily? It feels like she has been a part of my world so much longer (and tomorrow marks the three month mark that my best girl, Shelby, became an angel). Time feels like it’s flying by yet my heart still aches for the “love of my life”.

Jasper has been a real trooper though. She is doing her very best to snuggle her way into my heart and home. Last week was the 4th of July holiday and where Shelby never batted an eye with the fireworks, Jasper was beyond petrified. I was prepared. My vet gave me the OK to give her a Benadryl if she got spooked. Everything was going great and things were quiet at our casa when I took Jasper out for a quick pee before the show started. We were outside and BOOM! I saw the look of fear in her eyes, her big ears got even bigger and taller and I could tell she was going to try and bolt. I  grabbed her up and tried to cover her ears and rushed her upstairs. I hadn’t drugged her yet since she had appeared fine as long as she was inside. She RAN to the bathroom and the beloved purple bath mat. She had never stepped foot in my bathroom before so I wasn’t sure how she knew that was a safe place (Shelby’s safe place for a month after her amputation and her go-to place when she didn’t feel well). Poor little Jasper hunkered down, preparing for the end of her world. She was as low to the ground as possible and rolled into a tight little ball yet her ears remained fully erect. I tried to comfort her but she was having none of it. I gave her a pill and figured she would be safe in there. I finally got her into her crate for the night and around midnight, we both finally slept.

The next morning she was extremely apprehensive on our walk and walked as low to the ground as possible, tail between her legs. Just like that, it was back to week one and she was fearful of every leaf that blew past her. Around 3 or 4 in the afternoon, she perked up a bit and started to act a bit more normal. Things were better until darkness fell and those darn fireworks went off again. This time she ran right to her crate and hunkered down. They weren’t as bad but just as loud.

Come Sunday a.m., she was doing MUCH better and seemed to have shaken it all off. We went for a great a.m. walk (she has gotten so much better about doing her business in a timely manner). She pees more than once on the walk (she hadn’t been doing that and Shelby was the master pee queen – peeing up to 15 times on a walk). As long as we walk the same route, daily, Jasper seems content to relieve herself. Where Shelby needed variety to do her business, Jasper seems to want to stay the same course each time. Jasper always walks with her nose to the ground as if she is desperately trying to take in all the scents to remember where she is and how to get home.

We were coming back from our walk and the neighbor’s cat was drinking out of the fountain. This cat was raised with dogs so half the time, it thinks it’s a dog and therefore not fearful of Jasper. Jasper is cat-friendly and went to jump up next to the cat on the fountain and SPLASH! I don’t know what happened, either Jasper pushed Portland in OR the cat got spooked and fell in but soon there was a dripping wet cat and a half-wet Jasper!

Jasper continues to hate riding in the car. At least I think she hates it. She doesn’t do anything other that sit on the floor under the console in the front seat and shoot me looks of fear. Either it’s how she feels about my driving or the musical choices I have. I even put on the Spanish station for her and that didn’t seem to soothe her in the slightest. She will get over it, I hope!

Now that we have hardwood floors, Jasper has taken to slipping and sliding! Until the rugs come back from the cleaners, I try and limit this activity. She likes to run and play but I am petrified she is going to hurt herself. She is a jumper and it worries me each time she attempts to jump higher than I think she can. I think I still have PTSD from when my Shelby broke her leg – being a dog!

This morning when I was getting ready for work, Jasper was happily playing with her toys (she loves to play by herself). I turned around and my couch looked like a “build a bear” store had exploded! Fluff everywhere. This was the happiest sight in a long time for me! I used to love when Shelby would go to town on her toys and pull them apart with such vigor! To see Jasper relaxing, feeling at home and doing the same warmed my heart. She is learning to be loved and trust that I am not going to abandon her. When I think about her short life, she has already lived a year and a half in such turmoil. They say dogs don’t have long-term memories but I believe that Jasper has so much baggage and it’s wonderful see her coming into her own personality and making my home, her home. Even if I am not madly in love with her, I do care deeply for her and I want her to feel all the joy and affection ANY dog should feel. She is special and she deserves greatness!

So we have our routine. I am training her and she is training me. As soon as I walk in the door, I take her outside to avoid any peeing on me (only once in the last week and that was when I saw that she had chewed up the tag on a rug and while I didn’t yell, I guess the look on my face was enough). I am encouraging play time, snuggle time, happy time. I try and praise her, a lot, in English and Spanish. I am helping mold her into the companion that I need and I believe that Shelby is guiding her and protecting us both. I feel my heart opening up, a bit, and it scares me because I also  feel that wall that I have put up still pretty firmly there. I miss my Shelby every single day (some days more than others) and just when I think I can fully let Jasper in, something stops me. So for now, as it stands, I care deeply for Jasper; she has her fur-ever home but I still count the days until I am reunited with my Shelby girl. But I am thankful for Shelby sending me a new furry friend to make me laugh… even if it’s just a little bit!