Jasper Lily’s first week

Jasper Lily has been in my apt, my life for one week today. And while I definitely don’t feel anything akin to “love” for her, she is growing on me a little bit.

I think last week was just so emotional for me with my spin-a-thon dedicated to Shelby and the events surrounding that and what it meant hit me way harder than I could have predicted. Combine that with exhaustion, a new fur-baby that doesn’t know me and wasn’t as well-behaved as advertised and just overall stress of life, I think it was a recipe for an epic sh!t-storm.

I vowed to give Jasper a week to get to know her better and it’s just in the last 2 or 3 days I am seeing more of what I think is her real personality coming through. The poem about a rescue dog’s baggage really hit home and it hurt me to think that Jasper probably has a lot of baggage from her early life. I don’t know what she has been through. I know she was probably on the streets before she ended up in a home with 40 dogs in Mexico (for how long, we don’t know) till she was rescued from there and brought to America where was in a foster home with 7 dogs and underwent her surgery to spay her plus trying to learn to be a house-trained dog. So much baggage for a year and half.

Over the weekend, Jasper and I went to a local pet store to get her some food and some toys of her own. I wanted to see how she did in public, around people and other dogs. I need a dog that ‘wants to go’ and ‘have adventures’. She did great. No one could believe she was a rescue that had only been with me a week. She was pretty calm and very affectionate and eager for attention and love (not in the same needy way that Shelby did but enough that it was nice). I got her a pig’s ear which we quickly discovered she loves! And some new toys. She loves stuffed toys. She loves to toss them around (she prefers to play alone) and has to have all of them out of the box. She doesn’t really ‘kill’ them or pull the fluff out in the same manic way Shelby did but she has fun.

She was pretty snoozy the rest of Saturday and seemed downright depressed. She was aloof and off in her own world. I felt sad for her. It occurred to me that she might not like me either. And was resigning herself that this was her new life (yeah, I give dogs lots of credit for what goes through their minds).

Sunday, I finally figured out, if I just open the door to her crate and let her run out of the apt she won’t run off but she also won’t tinkle in the apt. She usually does it when she’s excited or if I talk to her in a friendly tone.

Also on Sunday, the day of my event, we went for a long walk – in the hopes that she would pee and poop. Almost 45 minutes later she had done neither. I was so annoyed. I let go of her leash and just looked at her and told her I hated her. That she was going back. I am not proud of this at all but I was frustrated that she wouldn’t do her business in any sort of timely manner. It’s like she gets distracted or hears something (how can she not with those dumbo ears) and forgets why we are outside. My neighbors saw me and saw me start crying out of exhaustion and frustration. One minute later, she peed.

What I have noticed about Jasper that is funny and cute is:`
1. She likes to chase bikes – she runs along side them as far as her leash will go and barks.
2. Yes, she barks! They told me she didn’t bark but she does – not often but she definitely wants to chase “people” (not cats or birds).
3. She apparently does speak Spanish – my neighbor spoke to her in Spanish and then said the same thing in English and we didn’t get the same reaction. I do not speak Spanish. But I did tell her “Buenos dias” this a.m. and she got excited.
4. She has no boundaries when it comes to food. I sat on the floor with a bun-less burger last night when we lost power. I got up to see if the entire complex was out and Jasper ate my burger. Hope she enjoyed it. Mustard, onions and some cabbage (and thankfully the onions didn’t hurt her).
5. She loves socks. Clean or dirty but she pulls them out of the drawer and carries them all over the apt and chews on them.
6. She is food motivated. Breakfast and dinner times are the highlight of her day. She snarfs her food like Shelby used to.
7. She will also only eat baby carrots if I cut them up for her.
8. She moves her ears to illustrate  what she is thinking or feeling. She cocks them upright when she is happy and puts them to the side (like an airplane) when she’s unsure.
9. She likes to sit on, next, around me. She will snuggle but sometimes it’s too much since she licks, a lot, and I am not a fan of that. She also likes to go up like a Meercat and hold my arms or legs.
10. She chews everything! She is not teething but apparently she likes to chew, my couch, my shoes, Mardi Gras beads. So she spends her days in her crate to keep her safe.

So where are we a week later? Safe to say I still don’t know. Her photo is finally off the dog adoption site I got her from so I am guessing they are thinking I am keeping her. They haven’t contacted me at all. I know that I like her, think she is cute and she makes me laugh. But she isn’t Shelby. And I knew she wouldn’t be but there are a lot of similar things that she does that Shelby did. She is definitely 50 Shades of bat crazy some of the time. I have called her Shelby more than two dozen times in the past week. I feel Shelby’s strength within me and I feel Shelby guiding me. I think a part of me is accepting that Jasper will stay with me, a part of me is accepting that she is more a ‘dog’, ‘companion’ than a child (I don’t refer to myself as mommy to her).  She is definitely doing her part to get to know me and make herself comfortable and at home. She trusts me to care for her. And everyone who meets her tells me how cute and interesting looking she is (those ears crack me up!!!).

I know I need to make a decision sooner rather than later to avoid her having to ‘pack up her baggage’ and feel lost and scared and timid again. I still haven’t told 90% of my world that I have this dog living with me. She is growing on me but my heart, mind and soul are still with Shelby. It isn’t automatic to take her photo (like I did with Shelby). People still grieve with me about Shelby and tell me how great Shelby was and how missed she is. Shelby’s presence is still really big and strong in my world. When I think about my home without Jasper in it, I am ambivalent. So I will try, like Shelby did, to be more dog, to live in the moment and take each day, hour at a time.

Before she tried to lick off all my make-up. She’s pretty cute and she lets me hold her like a baby.

Oh Jasper … you do love my stinky, damp workout clothes!