Jasper Lily’s “Spa Vacation”

Recently I had to travel for a conference for work in Portland, OR. Now we all know that Jasper Lily is small enough to travel with me under the seat on the plane BUT I did this trip alone. I thought it would be good for me to explore Portland on my own without having to rush back to the apt I was staying at to check on Jasper and see if Portland might be a good landing spot for me in the future. I had NO clue how hard it would be for me to leave Jasper behind in Los Angeles.

As way of background, I used to have to travel for another job – I was on the road / plane several times a month for almost a year. It was always hard to leave Shelby at the vets but she did really well there and was always happy to see me but ultimately, the travel was the reason I resigned from that position. It just got to be too hard to leave Shelby behind. But I used to travel home to Seattle (without Shelby) and while I always missed my best girl like crazy, I knew she was in good hands.

Jasper is a ‘sensitive’ soul. Everything impacts her life in such a dramatic fashion. A dog looks at her funny and she gets sad. Change is hard on her so leaving her here was going to be hard. She is very routine oriented. She poops almost in the same spot every day, eats at the same times, does her business in the same order, moves around my bed in the same manner … This would be a change in her routine and as we experienced on our road trip this summer, throwing her off her routine was not met with positive results (thus – she now still hates my car).

But she loves her daycare and I knew she would be happier there than at her vet (where she would be in a cage). Cage-free daycare and boarding: yes please! My only concern is that Jasper does not potty at daycare since she’s only inside (and thinks it is her home). I knew she could not go five days without going at least pee and they assured me they would make sure she was doing her proper business and she did (apparently).

So when it came time to drop Jasper off before my flight, we went for a super long walk and came upon a shiny toy coin. Sitting on a bench in a park near our house. I just knew that was one BIG sign from Shelby letting me know that Jasper (and me) were going to be OK! I drove slowly to the daycare, fighting back the tears that were flowing like crazy (come on, Alison, it was only 5 days and she’s healthy). But something in my stirred up some serious emotional issues. I was shaking when I dropped her off and she had no clue. She thought she was going to daycare, like normal. I told her I loved her very much and I would see her soon. I am sure the daycare thought I was nuts.

Coming home to an empty house – the first time the home has been empty since April 8, 2014, when Shelby passed was horrifyingly awful. I called the taxi to the airport an hour early since I would prefer to sit at the airport instead of an empty apt.

I didn’t call on Jasper the first night. But I also didn’t sleep. I was beyond depressed and was quickly thinking this was the biggest mistake leaving her behind. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and will time to go faster. I was heartbroken and depressed and woke up in the morning without a purpose. No one to walk, no one to cuddle, no one there. I called as soon as daycare opened and she was indeed fine.

The next day I had to do work and called on Jasper early in the day. Still fine. Onward! Still not sleeping and missing her and counting ‘sleeps’ till we were together again.

Tuesday I called and got the story. Jasper was doing better. She was indeed sad and not herself the first couple of days. My heart broke – she probably thought I had abandoned her. I know dogs live in the moment but our bond is so strong that I am sure she did think I had dropped her off and wasn’t coming back.

Wednesday – travel day! I got home, got off the plane, hitting LA right at rush hour. Got home and jumped in the car to go get Jasper. I could have (and should have) waited until closer to 8 when traffic died down but I needed to see her. I needed her to be OK. And she was. The daycare said she had a blast, she ate her meals, she played with a little guy named Remy all the time  – her new best friend – and they saw so much sparkle in her! She was happy. When they brought her down, they told me that while people do sleep there overnight, they have a cot in a room near the other dogs. The dogs sleep on the benches, or snuggle up together.

Not Jasper – each night – the guy heard ‘scratching’ on the door and in would come Jasper. She crawled up into his cot and that was where she slept. He said, she must sleep in a bed at home. Indeed she does. Right next to her madre.

So all is right in our world again. We are together and heading to Northern CA tomorrow for a Tripawds party this weekend. And then next week, we are flying to Seattle together. And again for Christmas. We aren’t taking anymore ‘breaks’ as far as I can tell.

But I realized (and bless you if you have gotten this far) that this trip wasn’t just about leaving Jasper. It was about the times I left Shelby. And in my desire to live in the moment once Shelby got sick and make every second count, I don’t want to miss one second of that with Jasper. It is my duty to Shelby – my way to honor – always – the love of my life. I do love Jasper (don’t get me wrong) but this grief, anxiety, depression … that was all about my emotions around Shelby.

I strive to be the best pet mom out there to my fur-kids. I didn’t always do it right with Shelby but once I did  and we started to have adventures, I vowed we would always have them. Until we could not. So I want Jasper (and any other dogs I will be so lucky to know and love) to have her best life with the most fun I can provide.  I want her to always know she is loved and protected.

So here’s to more #jasperandmadresadventures!

Happy Dog at the Dog Park!

Pre-work cuddles … sleepy girls!

This is what 5 days at daycare looks like! Snoozy girl.

Hey Jasper Lily … you’re coming with me next time! Sweater and travel ready!