Jasper Lily’s fur-ever home

As I announced over the weekend, Jasper Lily has found her fur-ever home, with me. As if there was ever any doubt (which actually, to me, there was). I was feeling such guilt last week, knowing I had to make a decision since it wasn’t fair to her and all her baggage to make her pack it up again. But somehow, between last Thursday and Saturday morning, she had some sort of “come to Jesus” meeting with the Spirit of Shelby and she became a good dog. What I thought was Jasper peeing in my house turned out to be a pipe leaking under my kitchen. Seeing how Jasper handled having the workers in the house Friday, ripping up carpet, drilling, sawing … she was SO chill in her crate. Shelby would have gone bat crazy.

I took Jasper to a friend’s house Friday night since my apt was a construction zone and she has a pup. Jasper and Hobbes became fast friends and I hadn’t seen Jasper that animated and happy since I got her. She played and played … her personality shown through. She was happy and content and home.

I still don’t feel what anything akin to what I felt in love for Shelby. But I care about little Jasper, a lot. Walking out of the house Friday night, I said, for the first time, “come to mommy”. It shocked me but then I realized, that was ok. I have since switched to the Spanish version of mommy – “madre” and tell her to come to “madre”. I also tell her “te amo”, instead of “I love you” because somehow, in my mind, that still keeps our love separate from the great love I had with Shelby. 

I also almost lost Jasper this weekend and the fear I had about that further confirmed that I am sort of bonded with her. She escaped out of her collar and took off down a busy street, darting in and out of traffic as I ran after her in flip flops. When I finally caught up with her, she was so scared that I crouched so low to not startle her as she was about to jump off a high ledge. I got her to me where I held her close and soothed her. She was scared too. Side note – Shelby did that the FIRST weekend I had her and I will never forget that fear.

I still haven’t told the rest of my social world and that seems weird to me. Where Shelby was the most photographed dog on Facebook ever, Jasper has yet to have a Facebook identity. I don’t know the reason behind that. I am not purposely being evasive but I think I am truly concerned about how people will react (not that it should matter) but if people think it’s so soon after Shelby passed or that my love for Shelby wasn’t as strong as I thought it was. I think I am judging myself which also is why I keep Jasper just at arm’s length away from my heart.

I still miss my best girl,  every single day. There will never be another Shelby. As much as everyone tells me how cute Jasper is (and she is pretty darn cute) I still think Shelby was far more beautiful. And you can’t compare. They are literally black and white (or blond).

But we are both trying. We both have a lot of baggage to work through. We both have been hurt. But we are in this for the long-haul. And I am looking forward to many adventures with Jasper.

Someone got a new collar! #jasperfirstbling

Jasper is a yogi! Frog pose

Jasper’s first photo in a tiara!

Jasper doing a roach! (she loves to snuggle with all her babies in the bed with her).